Voices in Her Head
by pinkaffinity
Summary: And the voice finally came to her, deep and familiar, but not his. Not his.


a/n: Book 2 Finale spoilers?

Korra was running and running and running, but every time she looked up, he was even further out of reach, somehow gaining distance between them even though he was standing still, watching her struggle. The sky was red.

She was running and running and sinking, the ground eating her alive, pulling down her legs, and breathing her body into itself because there was no better meal than a scared little girl.

She was running but not because she was paralyzed with fear and Mako was just within her reach now, looking at her with his warm golden eyes that were really just as cold as ice.

She was running to him and away from him, and only her eyes were left to the world, and the light was fading and her body was being crushed by the jagged walls of ice, losing focus, losing... losing...

Mako spoke to her gently, and she missed it.

"What?" she said. She couldn't see him now. It was dark and there were no stars to light her way. She heard the mumble, but he was no longer there. Nobody was there. She was alone. No guide. No help. Alone.

And the voice finally came to her, deep and familiar, but not his. Not his.

_He doesn't love you._

She woke but kept her eyes firmly shut.

-

The sound of the kids fighting over the last bun set her on edge during breakfast, making her grit her teeth and close her eyes but Rohan's cries of hunger for more, more, more still pounded into her skull, and Korra's hands were trembling ever so slightly.

Nightmares never settled well with her, but she felt... on edge.

Every movement, every sound made her nervous. They made her eyes shift and her body twitch and her memory rehash the ripping, searing pain as her connection to her past lives was destroyed. Why was she thinking about that right now?

"Korra?"

She flinched. It was Tenzin. Just Tenzin.

"Korra, you don't seem well."

"Huh?" And she saw they were all watching her, eyes full of concern, and she instantly felt foolish, childish, ashamed. A nightmare was only a nightmare. She gripped her hands in her lap, fingers squeezed together beneath the table. "Sorry," she apologized. "I had a nightmare. I guess it... shook me up a bit."

Pema frowned, her eyes full of motherly concern. She looked at Tenzin, and they spoke silently between themselves, and Korra looked away.

"How would you feel about taking a trip to the meditation pavilion before we begin training today?" Tenzin asked.

She nodded, and stood, rolling her shoulders back. "Yeah. Yeah, I think I need that right now." They all smiled at her, but Tenzin watched her carefully. She could tell he was both curious and concerned, but she knew that he wouldn't press her for information. "I'll meet up with you later?"

-

The air was warm, and the lemurs were happy today. She could hear water and leaves and beauty and light and she closed her eyes and breathed deeply, carefully, shutting out the shaking and fear but unable to shut out her thoughts.

She remembered the first time she had connected with Aang. Of how proud she had been of herself. And of how little she had used that connection. She hadn't needed him. She hadn't needed any of them. But now that they were gone, she felt their absence in the quiet. There was a hole left, and nothing had been able to fill that hole.

She breathed deep and she thought of the hole. She thought of how its edges burned and craved. She thought of its deepness. Their lives, their stories, their legends... dust.

Korra imagined her breath filling the dark hole. She was the first now. She was the first. It was her life now. It was her story. She could do it alone. She would do it alone.

She couldn't. She would fail.

She had to though.

And there was something there, calling to her. It was deep inside, calling to her. And she reached out, pulling her own body from the ice, feeling it close. But the closer she got, the darker it became and it was hurting her, but something needed to fill the hole, she had to fix this, she had to fix this.

She needed.

_... K... Raa... Korraaa..._

Her eyes opened up and took in the light, and the familiar voice faded, but she smiled because she could get them back. The voice was familiar... because it was a past life! She could reconnect! And with no other feeling but joy, she ran to tell Tenzin the good news.

-

The night was clear and the moon was beautiful, and despite the world entering a new age and despite all of their individual responsibilities, they were determined to hold their friendship together. So Asami had planned for them all to go out and have a bit of fun while they were all in Republic City at the same time.

The four of them went to the Moon Peach for music and drinking and dancing and a spirit interaction here and there (because those were still new and exciting), and it was going to be a fun time but Korra just couldn't clear her mind. She kept thinking about what had happened.

She kept thinking about the voice calling to her.

Tenzin had seemed apprehensive, when she'd told him, but Korra insisted that she heard what she heard. She had tried to focus and had tried to hear the voice again, but it wasn't there, but she knew she had heard it, she knew she wasn't crazy or anything. She would just try tomorrow. She knew she could do it.

She had to fill that hole.

Fill the quiet.

"Korra?" Bolin said, "You're shaking the table."

She realized her leg had been shaking incessantly. She stopped and looked up at them, at Asami and Mako, dancing together on the floor. He swung her around so easily, and she laughed as he struggled to keep time with the music. He'd never danced with Korra while they were dating.

Why couldn't he have done that with her?

"You wanna boogie?" Bolin asked. "I know an excellent partner." He waggled his eyebrows and pointed his thumbs at himself, but Korra couldn't see that because she was stuck watching them twirl and whirl and laugh and the hole within her burned. "Korra?"

No, she wasn't jealous.

Yes, she was.

"Sorry, I need to go to the bathroom."

-

Korra splashed water on her face and breathed deeply, gripping the sides of the sink tightly as she watched the droplets drip down her face. She shook her head, tried to get rid of all the bad thoughts. She and Mako had been fine. They were friends. She wasn't sad anymore. She knew they weren't to be together, so even if he did get with Asami, it shouldn't affect her.

She loved him, but they weren't going to work.

"He'll always love me," she whispered to her reflection, and a piece of her answered. _He broke up with you._

"But he said..."

_Asami wants to hurt you._

"Asami is my friend."

The voice was familiar and deep and mysterious and dark, dark, dark. It was becoming louder, stronger, filling the hole and it ached. This wasn't right... and her eyes widened with fear and with shame as she realized that she'd been so, very wrong.

_They want to see you suffer._ It wasn't her past life.

"No."

_They hate you._ One cannot exist without the other.

"No!"

_You're nothing._ Darkness would come out of the light.

"NO!"

Vaatu.

_Yes._


End file.
